We've got a lot to fight about. let's do it wisely.

How to fight well

Conflict is not a problem to be solved. It tells us we've discovered what matters most. If you can stay with it, you can hear what it has to tell you.This is how we break old patterns and find new ways forward.How to Fight Well is a practice that teaches you how to steady yourself in the middle of conflict and listen for what's needed.

• Training and coaching

Learn the practice

Conflict training

Registration for small group courses is now closed until 2026.If you want to learn the same tools and principles at your own pace - for 20% of the cost of joining a live programme - you can follow the online course: Working with Healthy Conflict.Combining Nonviolent Communication, western Psychology and neurophysiology, you'll learn the tools needed to show up to difficult conversations with curiosity and presence.Access the course and watch the trailer hereIf you're looking to explore conflict training for your team, email hello@maxstjohn.com

Get support

Conflict coaching

One-to-one coaching supports you to work through your challenges while building your skills and confidence.Coaches, mediators and facilitators use these sessions to add more depth to their conflict skills and develop new tools.Leaders, parents and partners use them to understand why some relationships become stuck and how they can untangle them with care.Coaching runs on a Pay What You Can basis, either as one-off sessions or a longer term programme.Email hello@maxstjohn.com to arrange an exploratory conversation.

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About Max

Making sense of the mess

I've been teaching people how to work with healthy conflict since 2015.Much of what I teach has been learned through my professional experience: leading teams in dysfunctional, multinational organisations, closing down a company and supporting senior leaders across the public and private sector as a consultant and coach.But the honest truth is that being a parent of two children, partner in a relationship, forest school teacher, martial artist and ex-doorman have been just as influential learning about how people communicate and why that can break down.Formally I have trained in Nonviolent Communication and Participatory Leadership, alongside undertaking counselling and therapy skills training. All of these experiences feed into the work I do supporting people who want to see their relational challenges from new perspectives.Find out more about my work on LinkedIn

Written resources

Free writing

I've written about all the principles and practices in my work, so that anyone can work on their relationship with conflict.Good places to start are:
- Judgement, blame and our unmet needs
- Drama, victimhood and endless invitations
- Steadying yourself in conflictRead all my articles on Medium here

Stay up-to-date

Newsletter & podcast

I publish an infrequent newsletter that includes new writing, course updates and links to new podcast episodes.Here are some shortcuts to my most popular episodes.
- How to listen to your Needs
- What can we agree on?
- Getting better at boundariesGet more like this delivered to your inbox via Substack

Bring in support

Facilitation and mediation

If you're working in a team where conflict is creating disconnection and impacting the work you're able to do, mediation and facilitation can help things get unstuck.Using a combination of training and dialogue, it's possible for people to understand and connect with new perspectives that ease tension and open up the conversation.This approach has been used to heal old wounds and get relationships back on track in co-founder relationships and remote teams.Arrange a conversation by emailing hello@maxstjohn.com

Training feedback

Navigate complexities

"If you want a practical and deep understanding of how to successfully navigate the complexities of conflicts we find ourselves in, then Max is the guide you've been looking for."- Tom, Executive Coach and Facilitator

It felt unique

"This didn't feel like any of our other training sessions. Not just someone talking at you and information overload. We were actually vulnerable in front of our colleagues and admitted we aren't perfect. Max as a trainer was very easy to talk to."- Marsha, Team Leader

Coaching feedback

Now I have courage

"I now have courage - there is no need to avoid conflict only approach it in the right way. Like if you walk behind a horse it will kick you but if you approach with care you can ride off into the sunset."- Liz, Chief Executive

A true understanding

"I now have a true understanding of the pressure I put on myself and how to reclaim my locus of evaluation. It has opened up my professional world to be able to challenge the status quo and not fear the response."- Susie, Founder

Find out more

Start a conversation

If you'd like to talk about what you need and how I can help, drop me your details below and I'll get in touch. Alternatively, email me at hello@maxstjohn.com